Play the Songs
- Nunsense, The Magic Word
- Winning Is Just The Begining
- The Prima Ballerina
- The Biggest Still Ain't Best
- I Got Pizazz
- The Country Nun
- Look Ma, I Made It
- The Padre Polka
- The Classic Queens
- A Hat And Cane Song
- We're The Nuns To Come To
- What Would Elvis Do
- Yes We Can
- I Am Here To Stay
- No One Cared Like You
- There's Only One Way To End Your Prayers
- Nunsense The Magic Word (reprise)
The Little Sisters of Hoboken, those humble nuns with a touch of show biz flair, return in style with NUNSENSE II: THE SECOND COMING. Presenting a high-spirited and zany “Thank You Program” for their many supporters, the sisters sing and dance their way across the Mount St. Helen’s stage, which is already dressed for the Hoboken Music Society’s upcoming production of The Mikado.
Musical numbers include “Winning Is Just the Beginning,” “There’s Only One Way To End Your Prayers,” “What Would Elvis Do?,” “The Padre Polka,” and “A Hat and Cane Song.”
In the Large Cast Edition there are five major roles and six featured roles, plus a chorus, which can be as large or small as desired. The chorus can be made up of adults and/or children: adults playing priests, brothers, and nuns; children playing Mount Saint Helen’s students.
The music books supplied are based on the original New York production. Before you begin, compare the Large Cast script to the music books and insert the new characters names in the music books as necessary. When the chorus is singing, harmony parts can be divided according to voice type. Additional harmony parts for the chorus can be added by a local music director if desired. In sections calling for “The Chorus” the director is free to use the entire chorus or a variety of chorus members in different combinations.
In all instances, the Large Cast script takes precedence over the libretto in the music books.
NUNSENSE II is also available in a Regular Cast Edition.
Music samples courtesy of DRG Records, Dan Goggin and Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
Video Sampler of Nunsense II
How to Dress as a Nun
- Musical Numbers
NUNSENSE II: THE SECOND COMING could easily be subtitled “the rest of the story.” The sequel to the international hit musical NUNSENSE takes place approximately six weeks after the first “benefit performance.”
The same five nuns are back on stage at Mt. Saint Helen’s School for what is billed as a “Thank You Program” for their supporters. Since their first time out was such a success, they have decided that they should stick to their successful variety show formula. This time they are forced to work around the set dressing of The Mikado, which is being presented the following week by the Hoboken Music Society on the Mt. Saint Helen’s stage.
The show opens with the musical production number “Nunsense: The Magic Word.” The song is followed by a high-speed recapitulation of what happened at the first show, narrated by Sister Mary Hubert and acted out silent-film-style by Sisters Robert Anne, Mary Paul (Amnesia) and Leo. This is capped off by the upbeat “Winning is Just the Beginning.”
The program proceeds with Sister Mary Paul (she is the nun who had been hit on the head with a crucifix and was known as Sister Amnesia. She had remembered that she was a former country singer who had won the publishers’ Clearing House Sweepstakes and made the nuns instantly rich at the end of NUNSENSE I) running a bingo game in which something goes wrong and the entire audience wins at once.
The variety show continues with Sister Leo; now on roller skates, with Sister Hubert once again warning Sister Leo of the pitfalls ahead in “The Biggest Still Ain’t Best,” and with Sister Robert Anne grabbing a couple of props from the Mikado production and appearing as Madame Butterfly. These irritations aside, Reverend Mother feels confident that everything is going well as she presents Sister Mary Paul, the newest country-singing sensation. Sister Mary Paul comes complete with sequined scapular, cowboy boots and Sister Mary Annette (her puppet).
Then the telephone rings. Sister Leo answers to discover that the Franciscans are on their way to the convent to claim Sister Mary Paul as one of their own! Reverend Mother dispatches Sister Robert Anne to the convent to try to reason with the Franciscans while the other Sisters try to calm Sister Mary Paul. Reverend Mother continues center stage with stories from her days in the circus. The others follow Reverend Mother with “The Padre Polka” calling for women priests.
Sister Robert Anne returns, telling the sisters that she has convinced the Franciscans to take only the prize money and leave Sister Mary Paul. Hearing this news, Reverend Mother faints. “A Hat and Cane Song” rounds out the action in Act I.
The second half of the program begins with Sister Robert Anne (by popular demand) performing some new impressions with her veil. Meanwhile, the Franciscans have arrived backstage to retrieve Sister Mary Paul. The sisters present a plan to make back the soon-to-be-lost money in “We’re the Nuns to Come to When You Go.” But trouble mounts as word comes that Sister Julia, Child of God (the convent cook) is in jail! Srs. Robert Anne, Leo and Mary Paul head off to bail her out, while Sister Hubert says “If only it were 1962, I’d know exactly what to do.” Impersonating a rock’n’roll star, she sings “What Would Elvis Do?”
Reverend Mother decides to try to hawk the convent’s latest book, The Catholic Guide to Gift Giving. She is interrupted by news of the Franciscans’ return. As Reverend Mother leaves the stage, Sister Robert Anne remains, stealing the spotlight with “I Am Here to Stay.” With Reverend Mother off dealing with the Franciscans, the other sisters come back on stage to lead the audience in a sing-along aptly titled “What a Catastrophe.” A defeated Mother Superior returns. The Franciscans want everything, including Sister Mary Paul. Sister Mary Paul accepts her fate, singing a beautiful ballad, “No One Cared Like You.”
Then without warning, a birdhouse, which is part of the Mikado set, falls on Sister Mary Paul’s head and jogs her memory. The “Franciscans” are none other than the Health Inspector and his assistant (the sisters’ nemesis in the first show) trying to steal the prize money by masquerading as monks. Realizing that Sister Mary Paul and the money are safe, the sisters give thanks with the rousing gospel finale “There’s Only One Way to End Your Prayers,” and that’s to say, “Amen!”
The Second Coming
Book, Music and Lyrics by Dan Goggin
The title page of the program shall contain the following announcement in type size at least one-half the size of the authors’ credits:
is presented by arrangement with
Tams-Witmark, A Concord Theatricals Company
Additionally, you agree to include the above language hyperlinked to https://tamswitmark.com/ on all websites on which you promote the play.
Piano (Piano-Conductor’s Score sent with rehearsal material.)
One Player, Two Keyboards:
(Upper Keyboard) COLOR REGISTRATIONS
(Lower Keyboard) BASS
One Player, Trap Drum Set & Mallet Instruments:
Timpani – 26″ and 29″
Chimes – G, F sharp, E and D
Crotale – E (or Bells)
Peking Opera Gong (Small 10″ gong that bends in pitch)
Alpine Cowbell (Or similar medium cowbell with clapper)
2 Piano/Conductor Scores
20 Libretto/Vocal Books
Download PDF versions of the special bingo cards distributed to the audience members during the show.
The cards are arranged on four pages with four cards each.
They may be printed on heavy stock of your choice and cut to size along the dotted lines.
Optional Additional Materials
1 Digital Download of Rehearsal/Performance Piano Tracks and Vocal Coach Piano Tracks“The Country Nun” (Accompaniment CD)
“The Country Nun” (Vocal Coach CD)
Reverend Mother Mary Regina (Mother Superior)
Sister Mary Hubert (Mistress of Novices)
Sister Robert Anne (Streetwise nun from Brooklyn)
Sister Mary Paul (Amnesia. Nun who lost her memory)
Sister Mary Leo (Novice who wants to be a ballerina)
Father Virgil (Convent Chaplain)
Sister Mary Wilhelm (Convent Nurse)
Sister Julia, Child of God (Convent Cook)
Sister Mary Brendan (A teacher)
Sister Mary Luke (A teacher)
Brother Timothy (Stagehand)
Chorus (Nuns, Brothers, Priests, and Students)
Father (or Sister Mary) Patrick (Musical Director/Conductor)
Sisters and/or Priests and Brothers (Musicians)
Sister Mary (or Brother) Sebastian (Stage Manager)
Sister Mary (or Brother) Myopia (Spotlight operator)
CASTING NOTE: Sister Julia, normally played by a woman, can be played by a man impersonating Julia Child. The chorus can be made up of Sisters, Brothers, Priests, and male and female students as desired.
NUNSENSE II is the second in Dan Goggin’s series of NUNSENSE musicals.
Overture – Orchestra
1. “Jubilate Deo” – All Seven Sisters & Chorus
1a. “Nunsense, The Magic Word” – All Seven Sisters & Chorus
2. “Gloria” – All
3. “Winning Is Just The Beginning” – All
4. The Stoning of Mary Magdalene – Orchestra
5. “The Prima Ballerina” – Sr. Mary Leo
6. “The Biggest Still Ain’t The Best”—Srs. Hubert & Leo
7. “Un Bel Di” – Sr. Robert Anne
8. “I’ve Got Pizazz” – Sr. Robert Anne & Rev. Mother
8a. Reprise: “I’ve Got Pizazz” – Rev. Mother
9. “The Country Nun” – Sr. Amnesia & Sr. Annette
9a. Playoff: The Country Nun – Orchestra
10. “Look, Ma, I Made It” – Rev. Mother & Chorus
10a. Playoff: Look, Ma, I Made It – Orchestra
11. “The Padre Polka” – Srs. Amnesia, Leo, & Hubert
12. Tokyo Rose – Orchestra
13. “The Classic Queens” – Rev. Mother & Sr. Hubert
14. “The Hat And Cane Song ” – The Nuns
15. Habit Humor – Orchestra
15a. More Habit Humor – Orchestra
16. “Angeline” – Sr. Robert Anne & the other Nuns
17. Recollection – Orchestra
18. “We’re The Nuns To Come To When You Go” – Nuns & Fr. Virgil
19. “What Would Elvis Do?” – Fr. Virgil, Rev. Mother, Srs. Hubert & Wilhelm
20. “Yes We Can” – Nuns, Fr. Virgil, Rev. Mother & Chorus
20a. Playoff: Yes We Can – Orchestra
21. “I Am Here To Stay” – Sr. Robert Anne
22. “What A Catastrophe” – Srs. Robert Anne, Amnesia & Hubert, Chorus & Audience
23. “No One Cared Like You” – Sr. Amnesia
24. Reprise: Recollection – Orchestra
25. Reprise: “Gloria” – Company
26. “There’s Only One Way To End Your Prayers” – Company
27. Reprise: “Nunsense, The Magic Word” – Company
31. Bows and Exit Music – Orchestra
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